Batter up!

After our post from last night we each decided that we could create a baseball team that would beat the other one's assk! So here they are:

Up first is the Obaminators:

Mascot: Obama (as played by Oprah) Who could have more mass appeal than a combination of these two? With Obama on their side the Obaminators represent hope and the ability to crush much older opponents (especially if said opponents run with ditzy chicks... just saying...).

Manager: Dumbledore! A manager is someone who needs experience and has a good sense of planning ahead... like say if the Dark Lord is coming back next week, count on Dumbledore to plan his own death with Snape!

Pitcher: Robin Hood. A pitcher has to have deadly accuracy and the ability to fire really random pitches.

Catcher: The Great Gonzo. A Catcher can tend to take a beating. It is also one of the more painful positions (trust me, squatting for that long is not fun). So who better than someone who will enjoy the pain!

1st Baseman: James Bond. The 1st Baseman gets a lot of action. Coincidently so does James Bond.

2nd Baseman: Hooey. See Short Stop.

3rd Baseman: Dewey. See Short Stop.

Short Stop: Louie. These three positions need to work together. And what with Hooey, Dewey, and Louie's mad marble skills they are the perfect team!

Left Field: Superman. Outfield needs someone who can move quickly, throw far, and be accurate in more ways than one. (Also, having the ability to fly around the Earth really quick to undo a play is not bad either).

Center Field: The Flash. The Center fielder has to back up both of the other fielders so it helps if they are really fast.

Right Field: The Great Pumpkin. If you have Superman and the Flash working the outfield you really don't need a third person. But at least it's a good distraction ("Look! It's the great pumpkin! Someone get Linus!!").

Designated Hitter: Wile E. Coyote. Designated Hitter doesn't necessarily need accuracy, they just need to hit the ball far... with supplies from ACME.

VERSUS

The Inquisitors!

Mascot: The Spanish Inquisition (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHGOl-jfUK0) as played by Deadpool. He already wears red. And if there was a mad screaming fan with a gun, wouldn't you want them on your side?

Manager: The Batman. If he can plan a way to defeat every member of the Justice League he will always plan this team a way to victory.

Pitcher: Yoda. He might not be tall, but with the use of the force that ball can have any kind of spin on it by the time it gets over the plate.

Catcher: Wolverine. Short. Low to the Ground. And extra appendages to signal with. Also, people would fear sliding into home what with those sharp claws.

1st Baseman: Droopy Dog. Not the biggest target, but he always seems to be there. No matter what.

2nd Baseman: Robin. 2nd Baseman needs to be able to back up the 1st Baseman or Short Stop. And no one backs up better than Robin (Just ask the Manager).

3rd Baseman: Captain America. Needed a man with an accurate arm. The person at the peak of human perfection sounds good for the job.

Short Stop: Night Crawler. BAMF! How did he wind up on 2nd with the ball...?

Left Field: The Spot. The ability to make inter-dimensional portals appear would be great for dropping the ball and forcing an out on the infield.

Center Field: Mr. Fantastic. Center field needs to be able to cover a lot of area. And Reed Richards can be able to cover the entire center field at once!

Right Field: Doctor Octopus. See Center Field.

Designated Hitter: Jesus. Who better to save the team when they really need him?

There you go. There are our teams. Who do you think will win?

In a Perfect World...

In a perfect world we think the following Cabinet positions should be held by*:

Secretary of Homeland Security: Droopy Dog, "Because no one, no one would make. us. mad."

Secretary of Veterans' Affairs: The World War 1 Flying Ace, because who would be better than someone who fought the Red Baron himself?

Secretary of Education: Owl (from Winnie the Pooh), because as you know his great uncle he happened to be one of the very first barn owls to, oh, well you already know all about this...

Secretary of Energy: The Tasmanian Devil, if he can keep spinning he probably can keep our turbines going.

Secretary of Transportation: Road Runner, because the word "road" is in his name.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Gopher (from Winnie the Pooh), the structures might not be secure, but god dammit they will be built!

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Pop Eye the Sailor Man, "EAT YOUR SPINACH!"

Secretary of Labor: Robin Hood, who would be better for speaking on behalf of the masses?

Secretary of Commerce: Brain, because he is a genius. Duh. (And his friends are insane. Just your typical business man).

Secretary of Agriculture: Rabbit (from Winnie the Pooh), he will keep pests out of every garden of America (including Tiggers).

Secretary of the Interior: Pocahontas, she helped us once with relations with the natives, she could do it again. And who better to run our national parks, man?

Attorney General: Arnold (from Hey Arnold!), he stands up for what he believes in while still following the rules. And he's Arnold. So he is just plain awesome.

Secretary of Defense: Pepe le Pew, he can embrace the world in peace and love and still manage to keep our enemies away. (We would have put "repulse" but that would have been a little harsh for his feelings).

Secretary of Treasury: Scrooge McDuck, with him in charge of our money we will never have another financial crisis, because all of our money will be stored away in the government's vault.

Secretary of State: Donald Duck, Everyone loves Donald Duck, it would improve our relations everywhere.

Vice President: Mark Anthony (see clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO2FeEal0W4) the tough guy who still has our best interests in mind.

President: Pinky. Narf Point! 'Nuff said.

*We decided in order to have a perfectly run world it could only be run by cartoons.